Tom vs. the Telemarketer

They’ve been calling lately. And my number is on the do-not-call list, so you we must have done business with them…. They always ask for my wife.

Since I’m home this week, I got pretty excited to hear the phone ring. It was about 3 in the afternoon, so my bets were high that it would be them. Besides, no one ever calls us. I really don’t know why we have a phone.

I answer the phone and say hello. I hear nothing. I wait, and a female connects. I now move into stealth mode.

“Hello?”, I reply in the impersonation of a women’s voice that I can possibly do.
“Is this Elissa?”, she asks.
“Yes”, I reply, this time my voice accidently going a little higher.
The woman on the other end pauses for a moment, probably suggesting it was a gag (my impression is not that good).
“How are you doing today?”, she asks, trying to get me to say something else.
“Fine”, I reply.
She continues on:
“This is your account manager from the credit card company, and we’d like to offer you some new….” (product or service that I didn’t catch)
“No thank you”, I quickly blurt out, still in my high voice, and then hang up the phone.

Hopefully, she’ll just take us off of her list, but if not, my Apu (convenience store clerk from the Simpsons) or Mr. T impersonations should take care of it.

Update: mouse #2 caught, but there is a 3rd. I need to figure out where they are coming in. I also need to feed my cats less, maybe they will become more motivated.